Countdown rolls down to hours ...20 hrs 45 mins

I just cant believe that i am going to meet him tommorow.. just 21 hours left more to go... the time just doesnt seem to move on... it looks like as if the time is just stuck...Its just been 2 yrs since i know him but i got to know him closely only since March 10th. Things have moved on so fast and being loved by a person like this is something that a girl would always expect in her husband.
Just cant wait to see him tommorow. He doesnt know that i am going to come to the airport to recieve him. I wanted to give him a suprise. I hope the usual indian flights come in time and i could be with him for a while till he moves on to his next destination.

2............

                                       

I give to you the key to my heart,
Keep it near so we'll not part.
There is so much you bring,
You mean more to me than anything.
I love to see your smiling face,
And feel your warm embrace.
You fulfill my soul like no one could,
With an unconditional love like no one would.
We wished upon a single star,
To fulfill our dreams from afar.
I never knew what true love meant,
Until I met you, an angel sent.
You gave me hope when I thought there was none,
My precious Love... you are the one!

Thoughts that cross my mind

Today i had been for one of our close relatives daughters wedding reception. It was absolutely off my mind that today was Divya's wedding reception. Mom told me about it last night and as i was angry with mom, i told her that i wont be coming for the party. But today afternoon my dad told me to join them in the party so that the other relatives would feel happy with my presence.
I just asked myself a few questions lying in the bed in the afternoon :

• Why do i have to go for the reception when i dont know the girl at all. ( I have just spoken to her only twice)
• Dad said that the relatives would feel good with my presence. ( Am i some kinda public hero that they would be happy to see me.)
• Why do i feel so weird when i relaise that someone of my age is getting married.

I didnt bother to think twice about the first two questions; but the third question hit me hard.

Its not that i feel jealous lokoing at the newly wed couple or something of that sort . But its all about the various thoughts that my parents go through when they see a happily married blessed couple. Coz their daughter aged 24 is still not married. I am not in hurry to get married neither are my parents. But they have to get me married soon coz of the SOCIETY. Because the society speaks about someones daughter if she is still at home and not married yet at the age of 24.

I dont know but its just kinda crazy... i dont feel like going to any weddings or receptions with my parents coz i cant look into their eyes after the entire episode.

When i went for the reception today evening; every one was asking me " So kiran when are u getting married. " I had no words to say. After having a break up and then again falling in love its kinda hard to digest the fact of trusting men who would love u and are ready to get married to you.

My boyfriend does love me very much and is ready to speak to my parents about our wedding, but he needs time to settle down financially and i do appreciate his thought. But the next question that comes into my mind is that my ex boyfriend couldnt speak to my parents about our wedding " the only reason being his parents were a bit conservative" . I am not blaming him or blaming his parents but the entire situation makes me think on only one question " Why fall in love when u cant stick on to it. "

Dont you think once before falling in love as to how would ones parents react and take the entire thing ?

3...........

Forever takes me by a minute,
While I’m here with you.
I’m falling even more in love,
With everything you do.
Hold me in your arms,
Look deep into my eyes,
Don’t turn away and let me go,
Don’t ever tell me lies.
I swear I’ll never loose you,
In my arms I’ll always hold.
I’ll never let you slip away,
And leave nothing left untold.
There aren’t enough hours,
In each passing day,
To find all the words,
I wish I could say.
Your kiss will last forever,
Your touch forever warm.
You’ll guide me to the sunlight,
And shield me from the storm.
This is what I’m saying,
With everything that’s true,
I swear on my life,
That I really do love you.

4

The feeling of holding your hand

The feeling of your lips when they touch mine

The feeling of your body when you hold me close

The safe feeling i have when in your arms

The feeling of your heart so close to mine when we hold each other close

The feeling of the beautiful words i love you we exchange

The feeling i get when i look into your beautiful eyes

The feeling i get when im around you is so great

The feeling of me sitting a lone and you not here by myside

The feeling of me missing you like crazy

The feeling of me and you being together again

The feeling of me and you

i had a very heated argument with my mom today. Just feeling very miserable. Sorry god for doing this but .. i tend to lose patience when ...damn it..

5......

The music of your affection
Surrounds the air I breath
The wonder of your passion
My soul will never leave.
Within my heart it glides
As we dance the dance of love
These moments with you
I could never have too many of.
Your kiss to me tonight
Soft as an angels wing
Came out through my lips
In this verse I sing.
I know your out there waiting
I hear your voice away so far
And the beauty of your words
The distance cannot mar.
Our bond it only strengthens
And as the nights go by
I feel your arms around me
As I gaze up to the sky.
The smile upon my lips
It will surely never die
As I’m waiting here for you
Until you're by my side.

Day before my weekend

Today was a very productive day at work this week. Our firm had planned to open around 12 branches this yr and we are already up with 8 branches all over India. Its tough but the requirements that come up when you open a new office are just too much. You have to take care of everything from the minutest to something which people would just point at easily.
We have our Coimbatore and Hyderabad ( H2) branch opening up within the next week, with a total head count of 15 and 45 resp. Getting the interiors done is ofcourse comes under the admin managers dept but the backbone of the firm... the IT Infrastructure is what keeps us on our toes. Our firm is absolutely dependent on the internet. Getting the cabling done,ordering for new servers ..PC...Laptops... negotiating with the vendors how would provide us with the best possible deal. It definetly aint something that i expected i would be doing in this job.
Oh yes .. i am sorry .. forgot to tel you all ...I am working in a UK based recruitment firm with the corporate branch being in Bangalore. I am in the IT dept working a a IT Support and Operations Lead. I joined this job 7 months back. It has been a wonderful learning experience. Getting into vendor management, getting to learn a lot of things with your mistakes. One thing that i realised in this job is the immnse amount of knowledge and experience i have gained in learning new things. In my previous companies i felt that everything was spoon fed to us. We were never given an opportunity "To Think Out Of The Box" but here its always thinking out of the box.
Today i had a meeting with the finance dept in my office and the CFO regarding the late payments being made to the vendors. Things were really getting out of hand as the finance ema was clearing the bills very late. It was a very heated discussion but worth it :D
Later my teammates and a few other guys from the recruitment team went out for dinner at a new restaurant. " Lazeez" My god !!! it was a total disaster. I had ordered for a tandoori roti and a panner mattar masala. Roti was so thick and so salty and the panner sabzi was so sweet. It just tasted like some chinese sweet and sour dish. Had no choice but to gulp it down in front of the person who gave us the PATHETIC idea of going to this PATHETIC restaurant.
Later in the afternoon i was working on the report for the PC procurement in all locations in india. Sturggled with the numbers for some 2 hours and finally placed the order. Boss was happy with the cost cutting that i did when it came to PC procurement.
Over all it was a very busy day and a light day too after 6pm..
Tommorow our firm has organised a cricket match. just wondering how bad would my team guys perform. Well i have no choice but to be a good team leader so " All the best guys and play well and keep my name shining" hehehehe
Hey Jaanu if u reading this.. my leave hasnt been approved so you will have to come to my office and sit right next to me at work.. Boss said "No"..

6 days 5 nights more.................

It's been exactly one month since I last seen you...And one month since I last hugged you..I never knew that the last hug I gave you was going to be the last hug... or last kiss... I never even got to say goodbye to you it just happened so quickly you were gone.
I know that you love me but I wonder do you know I loved you? I never got a chance to tell you, I was scared...the last time I saw your face I just stared I wanted so badly to run up to you and give you one last hug and kiss but I was scared. I just hope you knew I loved you...from this day theres one thing I regret the most and it still makes me cry I never looked you in the eye and say goodbye... I cry for you everynight and I pray...that I'll see you again and till that day I'll pray and pray for that day.

7 days and 6 nights !!!

Sometimes, I wish you were here,

When I feel like crying no one is near.

Every time we talk, you make me smile,

Even if I just talk to you for a while.
You are someone I wanna keep with me forever,

unless my love for you dies,but that'll be never!

8 Days and 7 nights !!

I love you so much I can't even explain
This love is causing my heart so much pain
It’s probably ‘cause I can't see you everyday
I wish from the bottom of my heart there was a way
A way that we can share every hour, every minute and every second that passes by
You might think all of this is a lie
but it’s not I truly wish I could be by your side day and night
so you could kiss me and hold me tight
I love the warmth of your body right next to mine
when I'm with you nothing can go wrong everything is fine
I know that one day my dream will come true
and I'm gonna spend a lot more time with you
because I truly care and love you.

Countdown rolled down to a single digit --9

I am, in your absence, incomplete -
Each day too empty, each night too long,
Following shadows down an empty street
Thinking, each corner I turn will be the one
Where you’ll be waiting for me.
Alone in a crowd, I seem to see you just ahead,
But as I push my way to go where you seem to go,
I do not find you -
someone else instead
Bears the form that made my heart lurch so
Sometimes I hear your voice across the street,
Or someone smiles the same way you smile,
And just for a moment,
you are here with me
And I with you for just a little while.
Always the quest, the seeking and yearning,
Waking in the night, saying your name
Then restless slumber, the constant dreaming
Only to find in the light of morning -
After all -believe me, i will always love U without any expectation.

10 days to go ...

Lying on my cold bed
Looking at the darkness surronding me
The moon, shining so bright
Music starts coming from my mp3
It made me think back
To those sweet memories I have of you
I started to smile sweetly to myself
Then, the image of you leaving came back
Tears rolled down my cheeks
I screamed to the empty room
Hoping you will hear
"Why did I waste so much time on you?
You stupid monkey !!
You went soooo far away from me,
Yet the endless love for you is still deep within me.
When can I let you go?
My dear one.I'm gonna find a way
to tell you, how much I truly care.
I'm gonna stand onthis mountain top. I'm gonna stand up and shout it out,
I'm gonna scream my love for you.No matter what I do no matter how hard I try, I don't think
nope, I could never stop loving you.

11 Days MOREEEEEEE !!!!

I think to myself do I love him?
I like the way he talks, the way he walks...
The way he holds my hand...
The way he kisses my face...
The way I feel his warm embrace...
The cute little face he does for me...
The way I do mine for him...
The way he makes sure I am ok and how he goes out of his way...
The way he tells me we are going to be together forever...
Then the way he tells me he loves me...
I then return this with a 'no you don’t
I then thought to myself I don’t like the way he does these things for me...
I love the way he does these things...T
hen the next time he told me he loved me I turned to him, looked him in his eyes and returned those very three words,
I Love you...

12 days to go ...

My god !!! there are so many people flocking mails to my inbox and asking me whats on 31st May 2006. People you all should have known about this by now.. its in the papers...


Jaanu I miss you every time I close my eyes
My mind turns into night and
My senses dull
Nothing seems as bright and sharp
As it used to be
I remember looking into your eyes and
Thinking that I would never need anything more
Now, the only place I can see you
Is in my memories
I don't think I could feel anything less
Than depressed.

The Importance of Conversation in Marriage

I was just going through this article on the web tonite.. thought would share it with you all coz i am sure many of the readers who visit my blog are either married or on their way to get married :)

"When a couple reaches the point of not having anything to say to one another, their marriage is in serious trouble. Here are some tips on why conversation in a marriage is so essential, and topics to talk about.
Think back to when the two of you were dating one another. Did you have times when you had nothing to say to one another? Probably not.

Andre Maurois, French novelist and essayist, wrote, "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short."

Most folks don't marry someone they can't talk with. A good conversation is when you are both contributing to the conversation. When you are having a good conversation with your spouse, you are both giving each other your undivided attention.
Conversation fills many needs:
*To be connected to another.
*To have your feelings and thoughts heard and respected.
*To learn new things.
*To sort through issues and problems.
*To discuss and explore solutions.
-To reach an understanding of one another.

What to Talk About:
*Your spouse's hobbies or other interests.
*Plans for a future trip together.
*Memories of your childhood
*Movies or television shows.
*Things you would like to experience or places you would like to visit.
*Something you learned during the day or something you did differently or new that day.
*Discuss your thoughts and feelings about the day.
*Ask some questions that begin with "if you could", or "Have you ever", or "do you believe."

Although the news, weather, kids, jobs, money, household chores, health issues, in-laws, friends, etc. are all important topics that the two of you need to talk about, don't let them be the main focus of your conversations with each other.

13 days to go !!!

As I stand here waiting for you the rain begins to fall….It came so unexpectedly… And something inside me felt as if I were longing it to come… Over head do the clouds gather and does the wind pick up… And for a moment I have lost myself and my thoughts… All I hear and see are droplets pelting against the road and the homes and cars nearby…The droplets are like fierce tears from above… Tears that are shed for pain and suffering… But also for love and happiness… As the tears fall onto my face they join the ones already there… My tears fall for a reason all its own… For the happiness that has filled me inside for the fact that I have you… For the love that you and I share as one… But for the pain because you have already gone…And yet I still hope that you will turn around that bend in the road and rush up too me screaming" I’M STILL HERE"… I know in my mind that you have been sent to a better place but I can’t stop the feeling of unrest that turns my heart inside out…The pangs that I feel coming from my heart feel as though it would rip it apart and be left in pieces for me to puzzle back together… So as I feel the rain falling tremendously over me I hope that on one of those drops you send a kiss… One last kiss will quiet this uproared heart of mine… One kiss will settle any negative thoughts towards the person who made you leave me so abruptly…So will you send that kiss…. On a drop of rain… To the touch of my lips?

14 more days .........

My love, sweet love
With you, nothing else matters
You're my heart, and my heart is yours
My love, sweet love
For me, there's no one better
Cross my heart, I could not love you more
And I swear to you, there's no one more important
And I trust you with my lifeSo I pledge my heart to you
'Cause with you, my world Is filled with so much pleasure
When I'm blind, you are my eyes
So I pledge my trust to you
And I swear to you
That I will always love you
And I trust you with my heart
So I pledge my worldI pledge my world, I pledge my world to you

Feeling Weird..

I am feeling isolated. I want to be isolated from other. I am not in mood to talk to anyone, even I don’t want see anyone. I just want to sit in my dark room and be gloomy. I want to give deep thought about the prank life is playing with me. I simply unable to think anything. I am trying to dissect the reason of sadness. I just want to be myself. I wonder about the way of life. I was at height of happiness in he morning and now I am sitting in the velly of the sorrow. What bothers me? I am asking to my self and I want answer. Where the things go wrong? I seem to have everthing and , then nothing appeals me. I cannot concentrate on my work, neither books give me any relief. I dont want anyone near me. I am just looking up to find the answer. I know this phase soon will pass, bu it will come again someday. In my little life I have been fighting with my innerself fiercely. In every battle I felt doomed but the experience has taught me that everything passes on. Time is the best medicine for everything. I can handle the pressure from outside, when the foe is known and can be seen. But many a times it is hard to find the point of the pain.

My Dream Home !!!

A girl always dreams of how her home would look like once she gets married. We all have Dreams; yet some of our dreams are never realized.
I have a dream of my own home, all furnished, modular kitchen, matching tiles, luxurious bathroom with mirrors all around, nice dinning, beautiful drawing room, sexy bedroom and one Children’s room (can be useful in future) and a guest room for my parents to stay when they come down.
I am really desperate to make this dream come true. Its not very easy in big cities (India), but one should never loose hopes. I have just started my life, its only two months since I got to know my sweetheart. I have enough time to start working on this.
Though his parents stay in a Rajkot and once i get married i will have to move there. I havent seen how his house looks like but the snaps and the way he describes his home i am sure it matches to what i dream of.. Maybe just a little bit of makeover in our bedroom should be fine with me.

I love whites and blues. I would love to have my curtains in those shades and drapped well. My bed should have lots and lots of cushions around..and so much more.. The lighting in the room should be set according to the mood.. a few lamp shades and nice paintings on the wall.I guess describing the way i would like to have my bedroom would be impossible but to actually work on it and then see how it looks.. mmmmmmm i can alrady visualise it.. :)

Heart Thoughts

This is a poem that i wrote for my Jaanu !!! Love u lots !!

Sitting here remembering when
I saw the beauty rush out like a might wind
I never saw it before or bothered to notice
But now I see it and on it I am focused.
The gentleness of your voice
The way you make me feel
when I see your lovely smile.
The way you laugh and care for others
Even go beyond the extra mile.
I am focused on that
whether you believe me or not
My heart aches for you
And my stomach is in knots.
Now I had to declare,
The thoughts of my heart.
In hopes that you'd give me,
A place in your heart.

Hope u like it..

Ray of Light

This was a poem which my sweetheart wrote it for me a few days back. It feels nice to know that someone loves u sooo very much and thinks about you and the feeling of love itself makes " My dil go hmmm " :)

When the world is dark and gloomy,
& nothing is alrite...
There's one thing i count on,
My lovely Ray of Light.
Life may have its ups and downs,
Life may leave me alone to fight...
But i know you will be there,
My lovely Ray of light.
As long as i have your love,
I will carry on,
Will toil & sweat, all day & night,
For my lovely Ray of Light.
I long to hold you in my arms,
Kiss you soft & Hug u tight..
I hope you will be mine forever,
My Lovely Ray of Light.

- for my lovely lovely Kiran.

Thanks Jaanu for the lovely poem...

Its Raining!!

It rained today!!Yipeee!!! It's raining!!!! Ok, some of you might not believe this, but I completely, totally LOVE rain. I mean really I love how it falls, how it smells, how it sounds mixed together with thunder. I just seem to love everything about it. In the summer one of my favorite things to do is well, you are not going to believe this, but it to DANCE IN THE RAIN. Ok, even I have to admit that sounds a little weird, but it's just this great feeling I get inside when it rains, or when I'm driving in the rain. Maybe it's becasue I'm an Arian I'm more attracted to rain than other people. Well, anyways when I am driving in the rain, I feel like I"m a mermaid, I learned to swim when I was 6 years old. I almost drowned though, I just threw myself in the pool, and my father taught me how to swim. When I was little even sometimes now, my mother call me "Her Little Mermaid" and somehow I just love it when she calls me that. One time, I dreamnt about being a mermaid. You know how sometime people believe they are connected to a magical creature in some way, well I think I am connected to a mermaid, I might not be as graceful in the water as one, but I LOVE the water. Before I was even born, my mom went to an island just of the coast of India, and swam there, I guess I was about a 6 month old in my mom's belly, but I think that was the first time I was connected with water. When you die, supposedly you become what you have wanted to be all your life, I know in some hidden space in my heart, that when I die I will become a mermaid. Mermaids in a way are one of the most believeable creatures in the world because they have actually found the body of a mermaid. WEll, it's still raining, today I didn't dance in the rain, because I am busy andmissing my love too much. Well, I guess I should again go find something useful to do.