Chuck it !!!

You know what? I'm going to keep my thoughts simple tonight. Everything all boils down to this one thought "Screw what could have been"! Too much of my time is wasted with me living inside my head, imagining myself doing things differently in the past to bring about changes to the way my life is today. I've even laid awake for the past few hours in my bed unable to get to sleep because I've kept on going through all of these imaginary scenarios in my head. But it's a bloody waste of time.

The past is gone. It's dead. If I keep wasting my time thinking about it, then when this present becomes the past, and I look back at myself worrying and looking even farther back, I'll just have even more regrets. There are plenty of things I can do today to try and realize all of the far-fetched dreams I have for my life, or rectify problems I think I have. Lying around and imagining what I could have done ten years on the other hand, will get me nothing and nowhere. And interestingly enough, listening to songs that we used to playing togetherin school is what's uplifted me and gotten me out of the trance I've been in for the past few hours. And that really gets at the heart of why I play music, or get involved in any of the other crazy schemes I try to get myself into, whether it be making movies, the pranks i would love to play on my friends, a TV show, planning for a road trip, or whatever. It gives me hope. Not hope that any of those schemes will lead me to fame and fortune. Just hope that they'll help provide me with a cure for the common life.

I remember telling you all about the so called " Surprise" today. But just gave it a thought and was thinking if i should break the news now or not. Will break the news on 19th july 2005. One heck of a day which i think will be a historic moment in my life. On a second thought dont i already have a lotta historic moments already listed !!!!!!