If Your Gonna Jump You Might Want To Look Where Your Gonna Land

There is a fine line between passion and stupidity. Have you ever met someone who has the “Here is my heart please break it” approach to romance? I am a huge advocate of passionate living, fighting for meaning, living the great adventure. However, throwing oneself at everything that stirs your emotions is not the same as passionate living, at least not the way I define it.

There are times in life that require faith and huge risk. Sometimes you just have to jump in not always knowing the outcome. Decisions like this should be based on core beliefs and values. Passionate living seems to be found somewhere in knowing when to do this.

Stupidity however, is modern day dating. I can’t say I have found the perfect alternative yet, but I am trying, yes, searching for the answer. Meeting someone, leading them on, falling for them before you really know who they are and then breaking their heart when you shockingly realize it is not going to work out cannot be the best way. For one, I think it should be a crime that guys are allowed to go around breaking girl’s hearts. Yet on the other hand, the way some girls play guys is downright wicked.

Taking a relationship slow is unheard of now days. Why is trying to get to know someone before you become romantically involved so crazy? It seems to me that most people become romantically involved by the 3rd or 4th date now days if not sooner. You’re telling me you actually think you know that person after three dates! You’re crazy. Why are we surprised when two months later we feel like we had our heart ripped out by someone we thought we loved? Can you really even blame the other person… they were just being who they are. It just hurts you cause they didn't become who you thought they were. There has to be a better way…

I think the answer lies somewhere in taking it slow and actually caring about the other person whether you end up with them or not. You have to set out wanting to protect your heart and the other parties from the beginning. You actually have to be a friend and get to know them, before you charge into a romantic relationship. I have talked to a friend ( X) of mine who had this conversation with another friend( Y) of his before X recently ‘met a girl’.

X:“So are you guys dating, are you together”.

Y: “Well, umm, no, I don’t think so, No not yet”.

X: “Have you kissed her yet”?

Y: “Well yah, of course”

X: “but you’re not together”

Y: “Well I don’t know… but I really like her”

X: “I bet she is starting to not like you and get a little confused!”

Y: “Why? I really do like her.”

We need to get a clue! This is not working people, we need to try something different. I am tired of guys leading a girl on and then breaking her heart. I am tired of broken hearts. We actually need to plan a little before we jump, think a little before we pursue love. I don’t think this will steal the passion, I think it could actually enhance it. Imagine knowing someone cared about you enough to protect you before you had a romantic relationship… now that might be someone worth pursuing…Just a thought.