Whats The Meaning Of Life !!!!

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.

Monday, March 28, 2005

5 days to go !!!!

Heard today that Malaika Arora would be coming to our company bash and would eb the MC for the show. I am sure now after all the friends who have read this and staying in Bangalore will try contacting me and say that " Hey kiran..we wanna come!!" and i will only tell them " Only Accenture employees allowed"
Oh man hell this will be fun to see those guys with the sad face.... hahahaha..its fun to pull their legs and rag men when it comes to such stuff.....
So what else guys...was very busy with work as always.... was dead almost...This is y i hate working for client companies....anyway cant crib about my work here...
Read this joke today in the PG.. wonder what PG is ?? its Pagalguy.com.. My fav site when it comes to MBA.... cool stuff...

How to Kill a Lion:

Infy method:hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..he will die eventually offrustration...
TCS method:hire a lion, give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary,lion dies of hunger and frustration
IBM's metbod:hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ... he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-Hire a Cat ... assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once here aches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite. Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score60% he will lose the job. lion dies of thestrain?
i-Flex method:hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for
implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement(promotion), holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:hire a lion ..tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...lion dies from fear that tommorrow hemight become a goat....
Polaris Method :hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ...change his timings...(instead of9 AM...change it to 8:30 AM) cut down his allowance (coupons etc) lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Silverline Method:hire a lion, declare a scandal and dont pay him...he dies of hunger...
Quinnox method:hire the lion. either give him no work or ask for a premature delivery.Lion either dies of boredom or intense physical &mental activity...
Patni method:hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...the lion dies before joining....
Nucsoft method:hire a lion,give him job of grass eating (IBBS Support)..the lion dies from lack of eating meat...
Satyam method:hire a lion, give him net access..no work..and deport him to Chennai centre...no water..no electricity..no hindi speakingppl...lion dies in oblivion......
Wipro method:hire a lion...give him lots of work...transfer him to Wipro Lights division..lion dies due to Lightness...
Mastek method:hire a lion...ask him to align himself with anything and everything...ask him to fill complicated competency forms... differ increments and pay him
salary of a cat... lion dies due to fear of getting mis-aligned or starvation...
Microsoft Method:Hire a lion.....(thats it...)

2 Comments:

Blogger sach_D_truth said...

"5 days to go !!!!"

am not fond of this Malaika arora female...she always looks so over make up plastic face model...though she has done her asset management very well...but i don feel sad not to meet her anyways!

How to Kill

Accenture method:
Give advertisements in PVR, newspapers etc etc...and ask for people to be a Lion which finally doesn't turn out to b true and the so called lions sit on bench for months and die out of waiting!

March 28, 2005 11:15 PM  
Blogger m├ęprisant said...

You're one of the few bloggers 'cribbing' about work. Here (in the US), people get fired for that.

It's good that employers in India don't care.

March 30, 2005 12:56 AM  

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