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Friday, February 04, 2005

Can Ex-couples Stay Friends?

For a long time, divorce and separation were terms laden with ugliness, bitterness and resentment. It was impossible to conceive of estranged couples that could even bear to look at each other, leave alone be friends. But like every other relationship, this equation has also undergone a metamorphosis.

It is true that divorce rates have spiraled to an amazing proportion the world over, including in India. And yet, the silver lining in this dark cloud is the fact that most couples these days do not sever ties to the point of no return. They prefer to stay friends.

The recent break-up of Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt and Friends star Jennifer Aniston, goes on to reinforce the changing trend. Even though the couple separated after seven years of marriage, they refused to indulge in mudslinging. “We happily remain committed and caring friends, with great love and admiration for one another,” said Pitt and Aniston to People magazine.
Other celebrity couples like cricket heartthrob Imran Khan and Jewish heiress Jemima Goldsmith, or Hollywood favourites Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, continue to be close friends even after the marriage annulment.

But sometimes its worth a try !!!
While some have trouble letting go of the relationship, others have too many hard feelings to forgive and forget. With raging custody battles fought, the scope to forgive is also understandably little.

In fact in some cases, despite relatively decent break-ups, people have problems accepting that their partners can get along just as well without them.

It is rightly said: “To know the value of ten years, ask a newly divorced couple.” But just as every individual is unique, so are his/her relationships, and their own perception of the experience. What say?

14 Comments:

Blogger sach_D_truth said...

The Divorce rate world over has risen Indeed! And the social stigma attached to it in India is also making its way out of society because of the Influence from various channels of diverse cultural exposure, though it’s a good thing that the social stigma attached is moving out but on the other side if give a look then it can b a factor which itself would be the fuelling factor for the growth in number of divorces. Anyways the question here is not this, but it’s that “Can Ex-couples remain friends?”
And I believe the answer to this question is not unique…I think u r probably right when u say “own perception of the experience”
There are people in this world who are unique individuals and every body has different kind of experiences in this life…with relationships.
They go thru various ups and downs and then after some time if they feel there is something really wrong then only they separate…or probably the reason could be something else for some other couple…for separation.
This in turn reinforces my point that there is no single answer to this.
Some couple’s as mentioned by you are really calm and don’t sling mud on each other but there are cases when people have been into mud slinging a lot in breakups…
I think what matters here is the Maturity of relationship and the Maturity of the couple…nobody would have got anything out of mud slinging till now I guess…and things go smoothly if u calmly separate…
Now being friends after separation would actually depend on individuals. If you think it from the point of view of the couple who separated I guess its very hard to believe that they would remain friends because if they could have maintained that relation as friends they could have probably continued…and the examples you have sited might be just an aberration because of the public images of both the individuals involved.
This might mean that they are being sensible enough by not bringing the internal matters to the common public which is I suppose intelligent and mature enough a decision to take.
Looking at the Question posed by you from a broader perspective I would answer negatively to this question. However as mentioned by me in the start itself there can be exceptions or you can term as Mature Individuals taking sensible decisions to remain friends and hence the answer is not Unique!

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